Words of Condolence
How can anyone define ‘words of sympathy’. I can just say that be genuine this one time, for words spoken at this moment is something which is so impressionable and stays with the bereaved forever. The intensity of words has come through what you actually feel and have learned from the deceased (if you were closely associated with the person), or what virtues you have heard, what you fondly remember about him/her and so on.
You can narrate some fond memories that have etched in your mind related to that person who has left for good. And following that, say how you cherish those memories, what has it taught you and in what ways was that person special to you. Because words of sympathy can become irritating at times if you just focus on showing how helpless the loved one might be feeling. It is rather weakening. So the best way is to let them know how the happening has affected you. It helps to cope with grief as well as insults to let the sufferer know how you feel about the situation rather than making them feel weak and hopeless.
Another key to make the words of sympathy more emotional and deeply felt is to repeat the bereaved’s name more often than the deceased’s. The reason behind this is that, every time the person sees the lost one’s name, his/her heart gets a prick because the person remains only in the words and nowhere else, which is a horrible and traumatic feeling. This is especially true when you are writing words of sympathy on loss of mother, father, grandparents. Whereas if you repeat the name of the person to whom you are writing, you get a feeling of actually talking to the person through your letter.
Well, for beginning the letter, you can start with a sympathy quote that you find compassionate and think will ease the bereavement of the loved one.
|Loss of Brother|
|Most affectionately _____,
I am at a loss of words as to what to tell you, how to deal with this immense loss that destiny has caused you. I cannot sum up enough courage to come in person, and hence, am taking recourse in writing this letter to you. May God give you the strength to handle this grief and make you a stronger person just like your brother was.
I remember how he used to stand by you while you had tough times and guided you throughout our schooling phase. He was so close to me too in spite of not being in regular communication, just because I happened to be your friend. Such a great soul was he to treat me nothing different from you. Whenever our bus got delayed, I remember how he used to carry both of us on his cycle, sweating in the sun. I am unable to control my tears while I write this to you.
I am deeply grieved and I promise you will always find me beside you just like your brother did, though I can nowhere equal him. Right now, it is only words and words are all I have to be there in this tough time. Proud to have known him.
Love you forever,
|Loss of Husband|
Sweet aunt _____,
Will you allow me to express my grief for dearest uncle’s demise? I know he has been with you for years and for the maximum part of your life. He was not only your partner but a true companion too. How can I ever be so strong and bold to be able to write words of condolences to you. You are a strong woman and uncle was the best-est ever human I had ever seen.
I have learned a lot of values from him and the foremost of all being, to respect a person for being human and for not what he does. ‘ Words keep ringing in my ears and I shall never ever forget uncle_____.
Aunt, you can count on me to whenever you wish to share anything about your life. No one can ever take uncle’s place but all I can hope is to try to be there when you need someone.
Words of sympathy can keep flowing, but it is also necessary to have a limit to it in terms of the length, as the more you keep writing, you engage the person in the thoughts of the person who has gone forever and add to the grief. So keep it minimal and turn the words of sympathy into words of strength.